haunted ;
anw ytd morning. weird la. was woken up by an sms at 6+. ya even though i bathed at 12+ am n slept at 1+. n i was nice k. helped arnd. bathed for my cat. ya my bro insists tt we bathe for her every wk. like harlo my cat's not a dog. ya but did it anw. den was doing random stuff online. haha den i saw tt the carpet of the staircase is dirty. so i enthu-ly swept it twice.
then The part came. er. now i guess my mind's clearer already. my point was to go massage actualli. n talk haha. but ended up stoning. den listening. n crying wif 35 sheets of tissue paper. nth much was going thru my mind. juz sum random memories flashing thru. i kept quiet thruout. cos im weak. i felt tt nth else mattered already. n there wasnt anything much tt i cld do. so i swallowed my piece. nothing else cld go thru my head too. wasnt thinking. so i cldnt speak.
er ya n the meditating did realli help. oh ya the crying took an hour. haha. den i started laughing. i duno y. mayb cos i was thinking abt janet's joke. erm ya. weird. anw sorry to u. shdnt haf shouted "F*** HER LA" in ur face. u dun deserve it but she deserves it btw. realli she does.
for the rest of the day i was juz erm blanked out. emotionally blank. juz felt like a blank sheet of crumpled paper. not tt blank la had random thoughts n feelings at times.
it was peaceful. it was nice. mayb cos it was the last time ever. nothing realli felt different. juz the reality of tt clear line.
i need time. lots of it. i nv wanted this to happen. never. i feel.. abadoned. i juz wished time cld b reversed.
if u did it for me n if itz gd for u too den im fine with it. yeah n since uveput 3 weeks of thought into this n came wif this decision, then fine la. ive done so much, but i dun ask for anything much in return. maybe juz for ur well-being.
i conclude tt im gd as massaging. ok nvm this is too random.
hmm yeah gtg soon. n itz like shit la. ytd nite when i was falling asleep den i realised todae got ss test. ya onli rmbed it ytd nite. erm ya n i hafnt started studying. hafta pia on the bus.
n i hafnt done geog assignment. n lit assignment is super late. n chi compo is half done. n still got a few math assignments. haiya pia todae ba haha. at least the compo n math.
im going vegetarian! erm for u yea. yeahh 7 days. todae's the 2nd. but im gonna do it for as long as i can. i dun mind la. i cant taste my food anw. cough n runny nose. n i dun haf any appetite for food at all la.
kk i gtg ha b4 i miss the bus.
i will get thru this. i will. cos there's nothing else i can do erm yeah? ya.
oh btw!! im sorry trees!!! (for using so much tissue paper =( i'll recycle more *nods)
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